What is Abuse?

Abuse comes in many forms and often hurts victims in many different ways. Labeling abuse is often difficult. While all forms of abuse “hurt” in one way or another, the court system responds to different kinds of abuse in different ways. The following questionnaire is designed to help you sort out what you may have experienced, and to determine if your partner’s behavior constitutes abuse.

Physical Abuse

Instances of physical abuse usually include the use of force or power to inflict pain or physical injury upon you or to place you at risk of being injured physically. If you can answer yes to any of the following questions, you may have experienced physical abuse.

1. Has your partner ever pushed or shoved you?
2. Has your partner ever held you to keep you from leaving?
3. Has your partner ever slapped or bit you?
4. Has your partner ever kicked or choked you?
5. Has your partner ever hit or punched you?
6. Has your partner ever thrown things at you?
7. Has your partner ever locked you out of the house or the car?
8. Has your partner ever abandoned you in a dangerous place?
9. Has your partner ever refused to help you when you were sick, injured or pregnant?
10. Has your partner ever forced you off the road in a vehicle?
11. Has your partner ever forcibly prevented you from driving?
12. Has your partner ever raped you?
13. Has your partner ever threatened you with a weapon?
14. Has your partner ever used a weapon or an object as a weapon against you?
15. Has your partner ever scalded you with hot liquids or toxic chemicals?
16. Has your partner ever burned you with a cigarette, a lighter, or fire?
17. Has your partner ever hurt you with electricity?


Sexual abuse

Instances of sexual abuse usually include involving you in sexual situations against your will or without your consent. If you can answer yes to any of the following questions, you may have experienced sexual abuse.

1. Has your partner ever insisted on unwanted or uncomfortable touching?
2. Has your partner ever forced you to undress when you didn’t want to?
3. Has your partner ever forced you to have sex with him or others?
4. Has your partner ever forced you to perform sexual acts?
5. Has your partner ever forced you to have sex after committing violence against you?
6. Has your partner ever forced you to have sex when you were sick?
7. Has your partner ever used or threatened you with a weapon or violence if you didn’t cooperate sexually?
8. Has your partner ever committed sadistic acts against you?


Emotional Abuse

Any form of abuse may hurt your feelings. There are some forms of abuse where various messages (or the absence of communication) are used to hurt you. If you can answer yes to any of the following questions, you may have experienced emotional abuse.

1. Has your partner ever ignored your feelings?
2. Has your partner ever humiliated or ridiculed you in public or private?
3. Has your partner ever withheld approval/affection as a punishment?
4. Has your partner ever continually, repeatedly, criticized you, yelled at you, and/or called you names?
5. Has your partner ever insulted or drove you away from your friends or family?
6. Has your partner ever kept you from working outside the home?
7. Has your partner ever refused to go out in public with you?
8. Has your partner ever regularly threatened to leave or told you to leave?
9. Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you, the children, or other members of your family?
10. Has your partner ever punished or deprived the children as a way of expressing anger toward you or as a way of controlling you?
11. Has your partner ever described affairs of sexual infidelity in order to hurt you?
12. Has your partner ever harassed you about your faithfulness?
13. Has your partner ever manipulated you with lies, partial truths, and/or contradictions?
14. Has your partner ever made demeaning remarks about your sexuality?
15. Has your partner ever minimized your feelings about sex or sexuality?
16. Has your partner ever criticized you sexually?
17. Has your partner ever publicly showed interest in sexual relationships with other people?
18. Has your partner ever insisted that you were mentally ill or that you were responsible for all of the problems in the relationship?


Still other forms of abuse may include your partner:
_Preventing you from seeking medical attention
_Manipulating your access to food and adequate clothing
_Involving you in criminal activities against your will

Look at the power and control wheel for more exmaples of abuse.
Power and Control Wheel

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